The other night I was doing what I always do at home, which was sitting at a computer. You might think that the 8-9 hours at work that I spend sitting in front of a computer would be enough (it’s not). There is plenty of shit to do around the house, but none of that is as important as keeping my Google Reader unread items count below 10.
While sitting in front of this computer, my mind wandered. I suddenly had one of those “huh” moments that should have occurred to me sooner, but didn’t.
I have 2 brothers. Should one or both of them have children, I will be Uncle Sam. This is a total disaster.
I do not want to be Uncle Sam. Uncle Sam is the drunken uncle that goes into his nieces’ and nephew’s rooms while they sleep and takes 50% of what is in their piggy banks. He uses that money to pay back the giant loans that he couldn’t afford. What was he doing with that money? Buying shiny toys for his house. Giving it away to people who don’t give anything back. Was he saving it or investing it in anything that would produce a return? Nope.
Uncle Sam reminds me of Huckleberry Finn’s dad, who was a drunk, suddenly became “born again” and promised to do good, then quickly reverted back to being a drunkard.
But I digress. Maybe the name Uncle Samuel won’t have such a connotation.
Maybe we all will dodge a bullet and Doug and I won’t have any children (that we know of).
But if I have kids, I’m just going to tell them your name is Uncle Nerd.
Maybe you could be a better Uncle Sam.